Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Obama Election Night Speech

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Top 10 McCain/Palin Jokes

1. Asked about her views on euthanasia, Palin replied, "Youth in Asia are just like kids everywhere else."

2. A woman at a John McCain rally said that Barack Obama is an Arab. And McCain quickly corrected her. It was really awkward, because McCain had to tell her, "Look, Governor Palin, you are wrong."

3. It was reported that Barack Obama's Secret Service name is "Renegade," while Hillary Clinton's is "Evergreen." Meanwhile, John McCain's Secret Service name is "Enlarged Prostate."

4. Why did it take Palin an hour to eat breakfast?
Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate.

5. McCain and Palin were sitting in a restaurant to discuss the craziness of the election. When the waitress came to take their orders, McCain said, "I'll take the steak." When she asked Palin, the Governor said, "I'll take the quicky."
McCain motioned for the waitress to come closer, and whispered into her ear "She means the quiche."

6. Sarah Palin had to have her campaign bus make an unscheduled stop at a Wal-Mart in Ohio, so she could pick up a package of diapers, so they pulled over and she went in, but as it turned out Senator McCain didn't need them.

7. In a recent stump speech, Palin vowed, "We will finish the mission. Period."
Afterwards, she was advised she didn't have to read the punctuation marks.

8. McCain was asked how he’s going to conserve energy.
He responded by taking three naps a day.

9. When Palin was asked what she thought about foreign affairs, she replied, "I don't know. I never had one."

10. The McCain Health Plan has the:
- Simplicity of the IRS.
- Results of rent control.
- Efficiency of the Post Office.
- The fringe benefits of higher taxes
- Management success of national debt.
- Bureaucracy of the Dept. of Agriculture.
- Dependency of a weather forecaster.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Limited Edition Obama Car Magnet

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